I struggle

Every day I struggle with a myriad of things.

My mind struggles. To find the words to convey the message that I hold within me. To find the way to say it as elegantly as my inner being knows that it should be said.

My mouth struggles. To say these words and say them smoothly and precisely. For the message I have to convey must be understood and it must be pure.

My hands struggle. To flow as smoothly and perfectly as the water of the stream. To fall as beautifully along their chosen path as the petals of the cherry blossoms when they are in bloom and the wind blows.

My heart struggles. To make sense of what it feels. To understand everything that it comes across and to be at peace with what that which it has found and will continue to find.

My eyes struggle. To see the truth in what their gaze lands upon. To bring an understanding, so that the mind and the heart have less work to do and may actually understand life.

Yes, overall, I struggle greatly and progressively.

I struggle to fall in a love that is not temporary. I struggle to find the things that I excel at and to find the message that I must bring to this world. I struggle to find my own inner peace so that I may show others what peace looks like and feels like. I struggle every day and I delight in my struggles. For each struggle is an opportunity to learn more. To understand more. For these struggles give me a chance to grow and become something greater than myself.

For these struggles are something that I yearn for. I hope that my mind never stops trying to find the right words to use for than my mind will be grow dull and lazy. I hope that my mouth never learns to articulate everything properly, for than it will go silent having found the sounds to make. I hope that my hands never learn to flow as the river does and stay as choppy as they were when I first learned to grasp things during my childhood. I hope that my heart continues its struggle to understand the emotions that flow forever within and through it so that I may continue to learn what love and joy and sorrow and pain is. I hope that my eyes never make sense of what they see and continue to challenge the truth of what they see.

I hope to never stop my struggles, to never end them and finally be perfect. For in my imperfection I am beautiful. In my imperfection I have skills and talents that are ever improving. For in my imperfection I am myself.

For this imperfect self. This person that I am and that I hold dear. I love him. For I know that even though this man is imperfect and still has so much to do with his life, it is that potential that he has that truly drives him forward. That never ending quest to be perfect and that is why I love him, myself. For a person can never be perfect for perfection is unattainable. Yet to seek this perfection, to ever long for it, that is truly beautiful and worthy of love.