Alone

I like eating alone and reading alone.

I like to game alone and go out hiking alone.

It lets me cool off and center myself, readjusting to how things are.

But when I see happy families, My menage e trois roommates, or an old friend laughing with his lover.

I realize, that even though I am alright being alone. I do not honestly like being alone.

True, I have learned a lot about myself. I know my habits pretty well, how I enjoy certain things and I branch out from time to time. But when I'm alone, I'm all there is and I don't do a whole lot.

But when I'm with someone. I do so much random shit because I don't like just sitting there with them. I like going out and doing things with that person. Sure, sometimes just sitting there is that thing that we do, but sometimes what we do is random goofy shit. And I really like that.

I like being 'a dork' or arguing over who is sexier. (Me). I liker pushing someone to be better and having someone challenge me to be smarter. Stronger. Swifter. The challenge presented in a relationship is so much more there than I seem to find when I'm alone.

Suire. One can push themselves when they are alone. I'll do it from time to time. But I find myself to be my best when I am not alone.

So sure I like doing things when I'm alone and I'm alright when I'm alone.  But I realize.... I don't really fancy being alone.

Only human?

"You know, we have a saying on earth. We say: "I'm only human." We say it because we're vulnerable, we say it because we know we're afraid, but it doesn't mean we're weak. ... Don't give in to fear. Fight it. Fight it with me."

-Hal Jordan

There is a saying that I've grown up hearing a lot. "You're only human."   Its a saying I did not readily understand. A saying that in turn came to meaning to me that you are weak. You have a limit. Your body and mind is only capable of so much. That you can only do this, that you cannot over come this plateau. That in order for the world to work, there must be those who have no talent. There must be those that do not have some sort of innate skill. That do not have this magical ability to do this one thing or set of things exceptionally well.

You know what? I call bullshit. I call fucking bullshit you belittling bastard of a universe!

You know why I call bullshit? Its because of things that I have seen. People I have met, but most importantly, its because of someone that never existed. Yes, a fictional character made me realize something.

The past couple of years I've been watching an Anime known as Naruto and its expansion Naruto Shippuuden. There is a character in that series known as Rock Lee. This character is unique in the series as he is incapable of using a combat technique summarily known as Ninjustu where one channels their Chakra (energy) to form attacks. He simply is incapable of using Chakra. So he relies entirely on Taijutsu. A style of fighting and combat techniques that rely entirely on hand to hand combat.

In the beginning, he is told he can never be a ninja. He simply cannot use Chakra so he simply cannot be a ninja. He refuses. No, refuses is to soft a word. He spurns the very idea that he will never be a ninja. So he trains. He trains day in and day out. Without fail. Without rest. Never giving up. Never quitting. He dedicates himself to becoming a ninja in the only way that he knows how to.  Through hard work, dedication and perseverance, he pushes through. He does this, despite those who told him he could not do it. Despite those that mocked him, belittled him and doubted him. He performs this act and he excels. He becomes a greater Ninja than many others, gaining him the respect and admiration of many, including his superiors. For he showed that he was able to overcome insurmountable odds and become a ninja where others had simply given up or failed.

I have seen people do the very same thing in life. I have seen a man who was told he would never walk again, let alone run due to spinal injuries curse his doctors and spite them. It took him over a year, but with hard work and dedication, not only did he learn to shamble and eventually walk. He learn to run. He cursed the odds. Spit in the face of challenge and pushed.

So yes. We ARE only human. And humans are an INCREDIBLE creature. We see challenges. We see obstacles in our way and we can over come them. We can see strength and weakness and we can choose. We can choose whether we fall to the weakness and raise about and become strong.

So I refuse to believe that as a human being I have limits. I refuse to believe that as a human being there will ever be something that I cannot do, that there are things that are impossible. Anything is possible, anything can be done. The only thing that will ever stand between you and success.

Is yourself.