Alone

I like eating alone and reading alone.

I like to game alone and go out hiking alone.

It lets me cool off and center myself, readjusting to how things are.

But when I see happy families, My menage e trois roommates, or an old friend laughing with his lover.

I realize, that even though I am alright being alone. I do not honestly like being alone.

True, I have learned a lot about myself. I know my habits pretty well, how I enjoy certain things and I branch out from time to time. But when I'm alone, I'm all there is and I don't do a whole lot.

But when I'm with someone. I do so much random shit because I don't like just sitting there with them. I like going out and doing things with that person. Sure, sometimes just sitting there is that thing that we do, but sometimes what we do is random goofy shit. And I really like that.

I like being 'a dork' or arguing over who is sexier. (Me). I liker pushing someone to be better and having someone challenge me to be smarter. Stronger. Swifter. The challenge presented in a relationship is so much more there than I seem to find when I'm alone.

Suire. One can push themselves when they are alone. I'll do it from time to time. But I find myself to be my best when I am not alone.

So sure I like doing things when I'm alone and I'm alright when I'm alone.  But I realize.... I don't really fancy being alone.